Current mood:

working

ベストフレンド

ベストフレンド

what is a bestfriend?

bestfriend, bestfriend, taisetsu na hito

bestfriend, daisuki na hito

totemo, totemo, boku no bestfriend...

i always wondered what a bestfriend is. i mean i have my own definition of it but i don't think it's right. i think a bestfriend is someone you have an unspoken unconnection with and you feel that you can tell them anything. it's a person that seems to understand you the most and you can have a conversation with them about anything. yesyes kelly IS my bestfriend...the only person in my life that i've really considered as a bestfriend. what separates her from my other friends is that she and i have been through so much. we went through all those fights and everything and we're still bestfriends. sometimes, when i hang out with her, i'm quite amazed. my depression....all those blog entries i wrote, it's all because of her. everytime i cried when i was depressed, it was because of her. i guess on the outside she seems like such a normal person but she's not. she's my bestfriend. i think it's amazing how we can go through all of that and then be able to put everything behind us. but i guess we both learned something from those fights....that's what counts. we know what mistakes we shouldn't make in the future. basically....our friendship becomes stronger from the fights. i never understood why fights were good for a friendship but after all that, i finally do. i'm glad that we could overcome those fights...cuz if we didn't, i think i would regret it for the rest of my life if i lost her as a friend.

but according to people like alice, kelly and i AREN'T bestfriends. geez wtf does she know. she thinks that kelly and i haven't known each other long enough to be bestfriends. she thinks that we're bestfriends for the sake of saying we're bestfriends. that's not true...if "bestfriend" was merely a word to me, i could say it to anyone. i can't really explain it. even though kelly and i don't know each other for so long...but for some reason, i know that we're meant to be bestfriends. i know that i was depressed so long for a reason. i know that i shouldn't give up on our friendship that easily and that's why i made an effort to be friends with her again. i was friends with her again not because i was too depressed. i got over my depression long enough. i was friends with her again because i realize that if i didn't do something, nothing could ever progress. we would stay that way forever and i never wanted that. i knew that kelly wasn't going to do anything about it....and i thought that waiting for her would just be a waste of time. i was so fed up with the fact that we were so childish by ignoring each other...so i had to end it. i think that it doesn't take a long period of time to get to know someone...i think that the progression of friendship should not be measured by time. it's possible to know someone all your life but only be normal friends with them. it's because you don't "click" with them...haha i should really find a better word for that. but kelly and i get along really well and it FEELS like i've known her for a long time although i haven't. most people have such thing as "kindergarten friends" which are friends that they've known since kindergarten and are therefore really close with them. for me, i always had to switch schools so in my life...there's no such thing as "kindergarten friends". the longest time i've known someone is since grade 6 and that's cory. you don't have to know EVERYTHING about someone in order to be bestfriends with them...you just have to understand them the best.

i admit that perhaps in the beginning, when kelly first said we were bestfriends...we weren't REALLY bestfriends. i mean...we probably considered each other bestfriends...but i don't think that either of us actually KNEW what a bestfriend was. of course we DID get along really well and i was so happy hanging out with her all those times...but i think that at that time....the actual word "bestfriend" had to be said to know that we were bestfriends. like...during second semester last year, i was depressed because i didn't know if she and i were still bestfriends...since she was ignoring me and hanging out with nichole. she didn't talk to me at all for so long...and i guess i was just waiting for her to say the word "bestfriend" so i could know that we're still bestfriends. she said it ONCE...in may....but then...i still wasn't sure. i think at that time, she was happy that i was her bestfriend...but then she couldn't bear to tell me the truth...the truth that really NICHOLE was her bestfriend. but anyways, we aren't really like that now. i guess now we just kind of KNOW we're bestfriends. true friendship IS unspoken, but for me, there are times when i really need to make sure that we're bestfriends.

for me, a bestfriend....is a completely different kind of friend...like in a different category than all my other friends. that's how special a bestfriend is to me. like...i treat them better than all of my other friends...i would always be there no matter what...and even if i'm busy i would talk to them because they are more important than anything else. and i guess with kelly, i would ditch all my other friends in school just to hang out with her. i don't know. i don't think we'd get along that well if we hung out in groups. oh yeaa...that is another trait of a bestfriend. if you can have fun with ONLY them...and if you would leave your friends to ONLY hang out with them then i guess that person is a bestfriend. ummm like to mee...."bestfriend" is one word....and the "best" is not an adjective. to me, a bestfriend is basically just a very special friend that i can't live without. to me, i don't use the word "bestfriend" to describe a friend that i like more than my other friends...i use that word to describe a person that i care about the most and a person that i would die for.