Current mood:

crazy

the dream i had last night

dreamdream

last night, i had a weird dream. i was in the mall with kelly and we were walking around. for some reason, i was so bored. i didn't want to be there. i wanted to be somewhere else. she spent so much time talking about nothing and annoying me so that's why i didn't really care. so when she went into a baskin robins, i just left. i went to look for my mom or something. i walked around the whole mall looking for my mom and then finally my mom started walking towards me. but then what i didn't expect was that kelly was walking a distance behind her. right after i said hi to my mom, my mom asked me if this was my friend and i said "yes". then this is funny. kellly was nice to my mom but then she'd glare at me. she looked so pissed at me but at the same time, she was trying to be nice. so then after my mom left, kelly showed her true feelings. she was so pissed off at me...and she was asking me why i ditched her. then what happened next i don't know if it was part of my dream or i just imagined it. instead of fighting with her and instead of running away from my problems...i just....hugged her. for once, i had sincerely apologized for what i did and admitted that i was just being immature. at first she wouldn't let me hug her but then after she did. hahaha what a nice dream. i wish that all of our problems were settled like that.

i remember that i would always be pissed off but then i would never tell her because i was scared of what her reaction would be. i didn't want any problems between us but i wanted to get revenge at the same time. what resulted from this was my bitterness and coldness to her. when something was bothering me...i always dealt with it alone...something i never should've done. i didn't want her to feel the same thing as i did. then i realized that it was very selfish and cowardly for me to do something like that. hiding things from her would hurt way more than actually telling her. the more i was faking it...the more it hurt her. if we had problems...we should've talked about it together. that's my mistake. if i only had the courage to do what i do in my dreams then i would be fine now.